How Do You Relate to the Inner Fire of Love?
It’s a tricky business, the inner fire of love.
The truth is, for most of my life, I didn’t know it was there. It took me almost 40 years to experience my own power; to get a glimpse of what’s inside of me and how that feels.
Let me start at the beginning: For most of my life, I followed the rules and was so-called successful. From the outside, my life appeared content.
But the truth is, I was dying inside.
I believe there is a reason I burned out.
It was my soul’s little whisper to make itself known.
I stepped away from everything that is conventionally called “sane behavior.” I quit my job and dove deep into healing work.
But if I’m honest, I believe the whisper began way earlier in 2007, when I first attended a 4-day course about how you develop your senses. After those four days, I felt like one of those old-fashioned dolls with keys in their backs. When you wind them up, they start to move.
In a word, I felt recharged. I felt an energy that was new to me. This energy felt so different and good from everything I had known. I craved more.
Along the way, I noticed I made better life choices. This new feeling was my compass. The question I asked myself was: Do my choices bring me closer to the energy or do they drive me away from it?
At some point it wasn’t enough to decide whether I had oatmeal or peanut butter for breakfast or how I structured my day. I had to decide whom I wanted to be with.
There were at least two long-time friendships that couldn’t withstand my newfound power. We parted ways.
Finally, I had to make a choice: Am I happy with my work? Is this really my work?
I wasn’t sure if I had unconsciously created turmoil in my work life, so I felt I had to leave it behind.
This is where my life started to get dicey. On the one hand, I finally was able to rest and heal. On the other, I craved fulfillment in my new work.
I believe the Universe has its own plan. You can try to mess with it, but you won’t get anywhere. You will carry around a gnawing feeling that something is just not right. You will believe you are making good choices, yet you will continue to feel stuck, unable to move forward.
That’s because when you ignore your inner yearnings, you live a lie. You don’t consciously know what you don’t know, but you feel that something is amiss.
Your feet seemed glued to the floor; you are bored. You might feel depressed or develop a physical symptom. Excitement is something you read about, but rarely experience for yourself.
If this all sounds like a familiar tune, it might be time for a reality—or rather, a soul—check.
Do you know how to find out what your soul what it really wants?
Follow the Love.
It always comes back to Love. Ask yourself: “Am I able to give and receive love? Am I open to love? How do I open up my life up to more love?”
There is no secret or magic pill. It’s simply the willingness to go there and be open to it.
It’s damned scary to open your heart to love, at first. Your mind will tell you stories about the risks of vulnerability. Your body will create symptoms of illness, all in an effort to protect you from the risks of loving.
Because when you open yourself to love, you open yourself to the potential of pain. But, you also open the door to energy, enthusiasm, and enlightenment. It all comes back to that.
How do I relate to love?
Answering this question is the first step to solving almost any problem.