Heal Yourself; Heal Your Family

Some people believe that by age 40, you should have solved all your parent-related problems and already let go of the drama.

You should be free of their opinions and secure enough in your own life that you need not worry about what they think.

But, the truth is, it doesn’t work that way.

Often we don’t even realize that we operate on “parent pilot.”

When I talk to my clients, I see them fighting with or completely abandoning their parents.

You would be amazed at the number of clients and patients who still carry their old wounds around like an old, heavy, worn out knapsack.

They stuff anger, hurt, and frustration dating back in their childhoods inside, and carry it around as if it is their cross to bear.

A few months ago, I was sitting in a mastermind with many other entrepreneurs. Our coach Christine Kane was talking to us about stepping out of our old stories and breaking old rules that no longer serve us.

One of the women in the group approached the microphone to ask this question: “How can I do something so bold when I was raised differently than that?”

Christine’s answer: “When you acknowledge your pain and decide to heal your pattern, you will also heal your ancestry, as well.”

Stunned silence filled the room. We all let it sink in. It’s true.

I’ve seen and experienced what she was talking about on a whole other level with my clients.

When you are a kid, you learn a pattern about how to behave as a means of survival. You learn the rules and what’s acceptable in your environment. Those patters are what you fall back on every time. It’s like a default setting.

Change only happens when you are able to look behind the pattern, when understand your why and your parents’ why. When you can see the truth.

When that happens, you’ll see there is no use in blaming. What’s done is done.

What is left? Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s about yourself. It’s about unpacking that knapsack and tossing it away for good.

Forgiveness can’t be forced; however, when it happens, it sets you free.


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