Do you merely talk about your feelings, or do you FEEL them?

In a recent one-on-one coaching session with a client, the topic of feelings came up.

“You know,” she said, “I’m pretty comfortable talking about myself and how I feel.”

My immediate response was, “Do you merely talk about your feelings, or do you actually feel them?”

I could see in her reaction that I’d landed on something important.

What about you? Do you TALK about how you feel rather than allowing yourself to actually FEEL how you feel?

It’s one thing to be up in your head imagining feelings, and something totally different to be brave enough to let your feelings run through you and out.

That’s when it gets messy. We don’t want to go there. We don’t want to cry. We don’t want to burst out of our seams because powerful anger emerges when we do.

We want it all to be light, convenient, and easy.

You would be surprised how many people cannot cry; the sad thing is, they cannot laugh, either.

We are so afraid to feel what we feel, so we cut ourselves off from our emotions and try to stop feeling altogether.

Many people, myself included, are really, really good at hiding our emotional states.

We have a little door inside of us, and as soon as a scary feeling comes around, we open the door, let it run through and close the door shut, immediately.

We think about tears, crying and anger, but we don’t EXPERIENCE them.

We stay in our heads.

When I work with my clients, I design many little exercises to restore the connection between head and heart.

When you use both your head and heart, that’s when you begin to truly live.

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