Do you crave, yet fear, change?

I remember the moment when I knew something needed to change in my life. I didn’t know what, or where to begin, but I knew it was time.

So I looked for support and guidance. I was fortunate to find a truly gifted healer who lead me through my deep inner work until I could feel my life shift. The process was  much more complicated and at the same time exhilarating than I had imagined it would be. Of course I had heard that change would be painful, but somehow this little nugget of warning had slipped my mind.

I remember one appointment. As I was talking to my healer I realized: This is it. This is the moment I have been working toward.

I was completely calm and relaxed. Until I got home. Then I saw my life exploding around me. The implications of everything I was learning… An unknown future stretched out before me… A mistrust of everything I thought I knew…A deep loss of every frame work I had built my life on. I cried so many tears for the person I had been and the one I was striving to be. 

For a while, FEAR was a constant companion. Doom and gloom scenarios flooded my mind. Fear of the unknown ruled, and I let it. This went on for about 4 weeks. It ate away at my carefully crafted cover of the smart and successful doctor, the unflappable friend, and the person who has it all together all the time. 

I questioned everything: from my relationship to my calling. EVERYTHING! 

As you pass through periods of extensive change, it’s normal to feel like the ground is shaking beneath you. You can expect fear to swirl around you like a fog. Recognize that you are doing important work, keep with it; the rewards are waiting for you.  

There were a few crucial behaviours that helped me maintain my forward motion and find stability within the chaos. If you are on the brink of important, lasting changes, I hope these will help you too.

* Keep your surroundings as stable as possible.

* Don’t make any decision until things calm down.

* Spend as much time as possible outside.

* Allow lots of space to cry and grieve.

* Give yourself permission to be imperfect.

And most important: Be gentle with yourself!

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