A Cancer Scare Forced Me To Look At My Choices

I remember it like it was yesterday.

I stood in the bathroom in front of the mirror after a long, lazy day in southern France. That’s when I saw it —a big, ugly, black and white liver spot on my lower back.

Suddenly, an undertow of awful images of cancer and suffering and chemo and surgery rushed in and sucked me out to sea..

Then, I forced my mind to stop.

“Wait a minute,” I thought. “So far, it’s only a spot on my skin.”

Next, I turned inward and listened to my inner knowing, my true core underneath my mind’s fearful chatter.

What I heard there was reassuring. “Enjoy your vacation. There’s nothing to be fearful about.”

I decided to trust this voice. I calmed down and enjoyed my vacation.

As soon as I was back home, I went to one of my friends who is a surgeon, herself. She removed the ugly mark on my back. As it turned out, it wasn’t cancer. It was just a liver spot.

When I heard the test results, I knew WHY the spot was there in the first place.

I was under a lot of pressure at work and felt I had no way out, or so I thought.

I felt helpless and exposed to threats by one of my colleagues. I knew I had to do something to prevent severe illness.

Fast forward 6 months, I left my job and spent almost two years recovering from the torturous regimen that I had forced upon myself.

Of course, the harsh work situation I endured was only the tipping point. It was preceded by years and years of neglecting my needs.

Why am I writing this? Because I’ve witnessed again and again how it is up to each of us to change our own lives.

You cannot expect to change the person next you, even if it is your spouse.

Change happens from within your deepest self. It’s not something that someone can force upon you. You have to make the first move for yourself.

We create our surroundings, from the environment we live in, to the people we surround ourselves with, to the results we end up with. We all have the power within ourselves to create the lives we want.

When we allow other people to stomp across our dreams and feelings, that’s a choice, too.

Happiness and peace reside in the space where we take responsibility for our choices and our lives.

It begins within.

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